Boy Meets Boy
by mackerel sky
Summary: Ryan and Seth start to notice their attraction to one another.


Disclaimer: These are not my characters. Sadly.

NB: Slash but not graphic.

It first occurred to him when they were standing by the pool together, Seth desultorily skimming leaves. Seth was skinny, yes, and even awkward, but gracefully awkward, coltish, which was a quality Ryan had formerly noticed only in girls, pretty girls with long legs and no hips, girls who were still growing into themselves. Like Marissa. So, a boy. That was weird. Or, not so much weird as newly understood. He simply had not thought of it before. The idea unfurled retroactively in his mind, like the unheard, endless ticks of a clock he had only just noticed.

Seth turned around and looked at him. "So. Haven't heard from you in a while. Clearly lots of deep thinking going on over there. Or maybe you're meditating. Adding some Zen to your groove. Or maybe you're just speechless at my amazing skimming technique?" 

He attempted a little flourish with the skimmer. It spun, blue and glinting in the clear air and suddenly flung two wet green leaves at Ryan. They landed squarely on his chest, like handprints. Both boys looked at them, Ryan lifting one hand as Seth rushed toward him. "Oh, hey man, sorry…still working the kinks out of… Let me…" He stumbled a little, reaching Ryan just off balance. Ryan caught him deftly around the waist and steadied him. Seth, now very close, reached out and carefully picked off the leaves. Then he brushed his hand slowly over the wet mark. Ryan could feel the warmth of his palm where the cold leaves had been. 

Simultaneously, they realized the oddness of their position. Ryan dropped his hands just as Seth stepped away from him. "Sorry, man," Seth said again, gesturing at Ryan's chest, "but that'll, that'll come right out…"

"Uh huh," Ryan murmured, keeping his eyes on Seth's. He was curious, as much as anything. He was almost certain that what he had felt had been met somehow. His instinct for other people's interest, girls' interest, had always been very good, but maybe this was different, maybe boys were different. He was a boy. How was he? He had no idea.

Seth looked away and looked back again half a dozen times. Ryan's eyes were alarmingly expressive. Or conveniently, Seth had always thought, for such an insanely laconic person, but now he felt alarmed. Right now he could not quite meet them, though their disembodied appearance stayed with him like a sun print: large round irises of an indeterminate blue, sometimes almost navy, prone to gliding abruptly across even larger whites. They had an intimacy that was better than talking, as if he already knew you. There was none of the slow climb to the threshold of understanding a person's face. Now, however, Seth felt exposed.

A door swung open and Seth's mother emerged from the house. The late day sun lit her hair into gold. Ryan had always found the fact that she was beautiful a little intimidating and also somehow admirable, of a piece with her kindness, steadfastness, ethical uprightness. It struck him that Seth resembled her more than he had realized. Their shared lankiness, their nervous grace, underlay the same quickness to protect and forgive that he loved in both of them. "Hi! The pool looks good…" She fussed briefly over the table, folding a newspaper, collecting their iced tea glasses. "We're going now, it might run pretty late. I left money for pizza in the kitchen. If you do go out… Actually, why don't you just stay in? I know you aren't grounded. Technically. But I'd really rather just know where you are."

"Don't worry about a thing, Mom. We're totally staying in. Pizza, a little Playstation action… Everything we need is right here. Right Ryan?"

Ryan shrugged. "Sure."

"Believe me when I say that going to a party is pretty much the absolute last thing on either of our minds." He looked at Ryan.

Ryan smiled one of his rare smiles. "We'll be fine. Go have a good time."

"All right. That's a little reassuring." She smiled reluctantly. "The truth is I probably enjoy worrying about you." She ruffled Seth's hair.

"A habit we'll be happy to help you break, Mom. Now go have fun."

After she left Seth sat heavily at the table and blew his hair out of his face. "So. Ryan. What's going on?"

Ryan regarded him carefully. "What do you mean?"

"Tonight. We don't have to stay in…" He raised his eyebrows suggestively.

"Seth. Come on. We just told your mom…"

"I'm just saying. She never has to know. As long as we follow the new plan and stick together…"

"Yeah, well, I think we can probably stick together just fine right here." Then he paused. "Why? What's up? You want to go see Summer?" His voice was a little thick as he said this. Not good. He walked to the edge of the pool and tried to clear his throat inaudibly. He could feel Seth's eyes on his back. Seth's eyes were brown, kind of a warm seal brown, set at a slight tilt in his head. Ryan liked them. It seemed like most of the eyes he had any right to look at closely were blue, like his own. His mother's were a staggering, glittering laser-blue, like jewelry set in her head. Beautiful but cold and somehow distracting, an obstruction to looking at her. Seth's on the other hand were warm and open, like a doorway into a cozy room. You could just walk right into them, into him. God, thought Ryan, I am totally losing my mind.

"Yeah, no, not Summer," Ryan turned around in time to see Seth make a dismissive gesture. "Actually, I was more thinking we could just go do something. You know, like, just us, I mean, I don't know, drive around, find a dive bar, pick up chicks, practice for the pancake tour… Like just hang out or whatever. In a non-Newport type manner. I mean," there was a long enough pause here that Ryan turned back around and met Seth's eyes again, "What did you do with Donnie?" Seth's voice seemed distinctly thicker, too. Ryan found this steadied him.

"Nothing much. Had some beers with those girls. Drove around Long Beach. Went to a party."

"There you go! Just like that. Only, you know, without the girls."

"Without the girls, huh?" Ryan's eyebrows and one side of his mouth lifted slightly. Seth looked suddenly nervous.

"Yeah or, you know, the gun."

"If you just want to hang out and drink a few beers, why leave the house." Ryan, sensing Seth's response, felt both happier and calmer. Seth, on the other hand, seemed panicked.

"Just hang out here? Yeah, I guess, I guess we could do that… Well, we could probably have a glass of chardonnay or something. I don't know about beer, I mean, beer isn't a thing my mom usually stocks the house with…"

Ryan laughed. "Chardonnay and pizza. Perfect."

"Yeah, okay. Uh, Ryan? Do you want to call Marissa? I mean, it isn't like she has anything to do really right now, if she still isn't going to Holly's or whatever and maybe she, I mean…"

"Not really." He smiled. "I don't want to mess with the plan."

By the time the pizza arrived, Ryan had won two and lost five rounds of video games, in that order. Seth was definitely calming down. Ryan sat at the table and dragged a slippery slice of pizza out of the box and onto a plate. Seth leaned into the refrigerator, looking for contraband. He emerged grinning and holding three Coronas. "Beer! I wonder what that's doing in here."

"Only three? And they're unusual. They're definitely going to notice those missing."

"Ryan! Live dangerously. Besides, we're not going out. Nobody's armed. It's a pretty tame evening by our recent standards."

"All right. Give me one of those."

"Actually, three's not a whole lot."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, as they say in legal circles, possession is nine tenths of the law."

"Come on, man. Give me a damn beer."

"I'm not sure," Seth tilted his head as if considering. "Nope, you know what? No. I think I'm going to have to drink all of these---"

Ryan lunged around the table, tackling Seth and briefly pinning him to the refrigerator. Seth slid out from under him and raced into the front hall. Ryan chased him to the bottom of the stairs and stopped, holding his hands out palms up. Seth stood halfway to the second floor, breathing lightly, holding two bottles in one hand and one in the other. "Just give me one."

"What will you do for me?"

Ryan was gently wary. "What did you have in mind?"

Seth shrugged. "Well, let me think about that… Not really interested in your bike. Definitely not interested in your lighter. Might be tempted by a wife beater, possibly.'

"Oh, yeah?" Ryan grinned. "Well forget about it."

"So then I guess you're just going to have to fight me for them."

"Yeah? Okay then." Ryan leaped up the stairs and grabbed Seth around the thighs. Seth's feet slid out from under him as Ryan's weight collapsed on top of him, Seth yelling and somehow managing to keep the bottles safely in the air above them. Seth groaned as they hit the floor of the foyer, Ryan on top and quickly pinning both of Seth's beer-carrying arms to the floor. Their faces were very close together.

"All right, all right, we'll split them," said Seth. He let the bottles roll away but Ryan did not release him. He could feel Ryan's eyes on his mouth. Seth's throat was almost too tight to talk. "Ryan? What, uh---"

The doorbell rang. Ryan was on his feet before the tone died away. Seth got up more slowly, weakly attempting to straighten the rug with one foot. Ryan looked flushed and tousled. His t-shirt was twisted around his torso and one sleeve was pushed up onto his shoulder. His shoulder looked enormous, hard muscled. A pale blue vein crossed it. It occurred to Seth as a fully formed thought that Ryan was incredibly hot. Not in an objective girl-getting way, but in a completely personal heart-in-the-throat, throb-in-the-groin way. He was hot. Oh great, thought Seth, what heinous new wrinkle in my neurotic psyche is this?

"Should we, ah…?" Ryan gestured at the door.

"What?" They stared at each other. They were both breathing heavily. "Oh. The door." Seth mock-chuckled. "You're wondering if we should get the door. Well of course we should get the door. Just let me do one thing," he reached over and straightened Ryan's t-shirt. Ryan did not move. Seth took a step back and ran his hands through his hair. "How am I?"

"You're, uh, fine." Ryan shook himself briefly and then walked forward and opened the door.

It was Marissa. "Hey," she said. She looked at Ryan curiously and then walked in and saw Seth. "Am I interrupting something?"

"No you are not. You are absolutely not interrupting a thing. In point of fact, we just ordered a pizza, which is steaming on the table even as we speak, and we found that we have, amazingly, exactly three beers," Seth looked around and began picking up the bottles which had rolled away from the still-rumpled rug, "so that it's almost as though we were waiting for you in order for the evening to begin." He held up the three Coronas.

Marissa looked at Ryan. "Really?"

"Stay," he said.

They sat around the table eating the pizza and drinking the beer, Marissa beside Ryan and across from Seth. Seth and Ryan did not look at one another. Marissa did most of the talking. When she lagged, one of the boys asked her a question and she started again. Ryan had never known her to be so voluble, but Seth, for the first time in his life, was barely talking at all. 

Ryan looked at Marissa inhaling her pizza. He said, "It's nice to see you eat."

"I eat!" She looked at Seth.

Seth shrugged. "Ryan's pretty insensitive to the trials of the extremely skinny. But don't worry. I've got this new protein plan, you can do it with me, this time next month, we'll be wearing tank tops with the best of---" Ryan crumpled up a napkin and threw it at him. 

After a while, Ryan asked, "How's Luke?"

"Pretty well. He said you went to see him."

"Yeah. I did. It was my fault."

"Our fault," corrected Seth. Their eyes met but they looked away almost immediately. Marissa watched them not looking at each other.

"Our fault," amended Ryan.

"He also said if you hadn't stopped the blood, it might have been a lot worse."

"Yeah, well, if it weren't for me---us---it would never even have happened."

"Still, you did the right thing. You knew what to do."

"Yeah." Ryan looked uncomfortable. He said, "I didn't think I'd see you. For a while, I mean. I thought you'd be angrier."

"I was at first, but, I don't know. Bad things happen. Pushing people away doesn't fix them."

"That's very wise," said Seth. "You are a very wise woman, Marissa Cooper. Okay you two kids, I think I'm going to turn in, I'm feeling a little---"

"Seth."

"What?"

"Hang out. It's too soon to go to bed." Ryan's voice was steady but odd. Marissa looked at him.

"Ryan, man," Seth made big saucer eyes and looked sideways at Marissa. "I was going for subtlety. I think you're totally missing my excellent chivalry here." He looked back and forth between them in an exaggerated manner. Marissa started laughing. "And now I really am going to bed." He stood up and bowed himself elaborately out of the room.

After he was gone, Marissa said, "I was mad at first. I mean, none of that stuff should have happened to Luke. That guy shouldn't even have been there. But I know you were here with me and Summer said Seth tried to make him leave before he called you. And I know Luke starts things. In fact, I'm pretty sure Luke knew that guy. Not like well or anything, but I think he knew him."

Ryan felt quietly grateful. Luke had had enemies, had inspired vendettas long before he arrived in Newport. Maybe this had been his fault, but he was not the only conduit between Luke and gun-toting lunatics. Which was somehow an enormous relief. After a while he said, "Thanks."

"For what?"

"For reminding me that I'm not single-handedly responsible for every bad thing that happens in Newport."

"No. You really aren't."

"I'm sorry. That was thoughtless. I just---"

"No, it's fine. Do you think maybe we could go for a walk?"

"Sure. Yeah. Let me just tell Seth. I'll be right back."

Seth was lying in bed in his boxers reading _One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest_.

"What's that about?'

"Insane asylum."

"Cheerful." Ryan leaned against the wall.

"It's for school. You're probably supposed to be reading it."

"I'll borrow yours. Uh, Marissa wants to go for a walk."

"Romantic."

"Whatever." And then, "How did this happen?"

"What are you talking about? This is exactly what you want."

"It is?"

"Ryan. My man. You've been obsessed with her since you got here. She's not pissed at you for the fact that her homicidal water-polo ex was almost killed by our homicidal personal sociopath. What more can you ask?"

Ryan slid down the wall and leaned against the bed. He dropped his head back and closed his eyes. After a moment, Seth started to stroke his hair. "I think I can ask for it to be less work." 

"Ryan?" Seth's voice was low. "Is it all right if I do this?" He leaned down and kissed Ryan on the forehead. His lips were dry and hot and soft. Ryan's eyes flew open.

"I should probably go down and take her for a walk." Seth drew back and picked up his book. "I mean, before she, uh, comes up here or something. I'll be back later?"

"Yeah. Okay. Yeah. You should probably go."

When Ryan reached the bottom of the stairs, Marissa was already waiting for him.

"What's going on with you two?"

"What? Nothing. What do you mean?"

"You just seem…strange. Is it the whole thing with Luke?"

Ryan shrugged. "Maybe. Come on. There's no moon. The stars will be amazing."

When they got back, they stood in front of the pool house, Ryan still holding Marissa's sandals in one hand. She looked at him uncertainly. Five or six hours earlier, he had stood in the same place looking at Seth. But that whole thing was crazy. And Marissa was so pretty, with her big murky eyes and the nervous shoulders she drew up around her long neck like bird wings. He took a step toward her and put one hand on her waist.

"You're trembling." She shrugged, smiled a little. "Here, let me…" he wrapped his arms around her. They were almost exactly the same height. Her mouth was directly in front of his, her lips slightly parted. The lower one was fuller than the upper one. There was a trace of pink lip gloss along its outer edge. "Warmer?" She nodded. They both leaned in, their foreheads touched. She smelled like salt and flowers. He closed his eyes and the smell of her and the frail sweetness of her in his arms surged through him and then they were kissing. It was not a bad kiss, damp, urgent, a little sloppy. He was as surprised as she was when he pulled away. "I think I, uh---"

"What?" she asked at the same time, staring at him with big wounded deer eyes.

"No, I just… Are you okay? Are you sure?"

"Yes," she said, surprised but not hurt anymore, tilting her head and smiling a little. "Why? Having second thoughts?" God, he thought, what is wrong with me. 

"Not even close." He grinned and pulled her closer. She was sweet, hungry, curious, and he was a good kisser, but he could feel that he was not all there. They made out for a while until finally she ended it, a little giddy and breathless and said she probably should go. He protested, she insisted. Finally, when she was really leaving, he lifted her hair very gently and kissed her where her neck met her shoulder. She shivered a little, kissed him once more on the mouth, and was gone.

He walked into the dark pool house and sat heavily on the bed. Her sandals still dangled from his hand. He looked at them, put his other elbow on his knee, and leaned his head on his fist. When the door clicked, he looked into the blackness, waiting for her silhouette to resolve. He said, "Hey, I've got your…"

"Hey." It was Seth.

A dizzy electricity flashed through Ryan's body. He was instantly on his feet facing the dark door. "Hey."

"Where's Marissa?"

"Seth. I don't think this is a good idea."

"What's not a good idea?" They were drawing steadily, silently closer together. 

"This," Ryan gestured between them knowing Seth could not see his hand in the darkness. "Us," he whispered.

"Yeah, well, that may be true. But you know, Ryan, no matter how much someone thinks something is a bad idea I can pretty much guarantee you that that never stops them from doing it."

"I made Marissa leave, that one night."

"Right. Which was just about the time I realized you were actually available."

"Yeah, well I---" He broke off as he felt Seth's chest meet his own in the darkness. Seth was a few inches taller than he was. His lips would be higher than Marissa's. "Jesus. Please just---" 

And then they were kissing. It was like careening downhill in the dark. Pure acceleration. Ryan thought he might black out. He broke away and staggered back until his legs hit something hard. Seth followed, knocking him back onto the bed. "So you are still into her."

"I'm…what?" They lay on the bed tangled and panting.

"Into Marissa. That's the problem. Isn't it." Ryan could feel Seth's hair against his face, his voice aimed off toward the wall.

"Not really." He dragged his arm up under Seth's head and twined his fingers in his hair.

Seth's breathing changed. He said, "So is this, uh, is this really happening?"

"Yeah. I think so."

"That's good. That's good, right?"

"Oh yeah. That's definitely good."


End file.
